Monday, November 2, 2009

Mandate - Mission Statement

Hello Cool Cats,

So here is a draft of our mandate. Kaitlin and I thought it would be great if you guys could have a look and let us know what you think. We are concerned that the "stained our pages" sentence is a little cheesy but we thought one of you might be able to spring board off it and come up with something better. My thought behind that part was to include, in our mandate, the fact that we are letting our words do the work rather then decorating with color, graphics etc...

"Like actors on a thrust stage, we come to you, our audience, openly and intimately, ready for our work to be examined from each and every angle, hiding nothing. We have stained these pages with sentences and phrases, stories, poems and thoughts; words on paper without fancy lettering or graphics. Let yourself be engulfed with the work of a new generation of writers. We are observers, and writing is how we've chosen to participate in our social world."

Looking forward to your thoughts!

Lucie

7 comments:

  1. That line doesn't really make sense, what with the font choices and graphics that will be included in the book. Hmm.

    Also, could it be more a penetration rather than engulfing? To fit with THRUST?

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  2. Like actors thrust on a stage, we come to our audience openly and intimately. Open your eyes and we'll emerge from the wings; open your ears and we'll project.

    ?? I don't think I like project, but that's my 20-second re-write. I think there should be a first paragraph, too, summing up the program and project in general terms before moving towards any metaphorical language. "THRUST represents the writing, editorial and typesetting work of students in the 2009 MFA blah blah blah"...

    I think that the first version mixes metaphors a little too much....

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  3. Ben and Andrea have good points. It would be good to mention the work that went into the art, editing, production elements.

    The "thrust stage" worked for me ... penetrating into the audience, breaking through the fourth wall. Oh yeah.

    I really like the final idea about being part of a new generation of writers and participating in our social world through words. Yes, yes!

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  4. I agree with Melissa on the splendiferous nature of thrust stage but I don't know about "words on paper without fancy lettering or graphics". I agree with Ben on that one. How about something more along the lines of, words that don't flinch (from the spotlight?). Just a thought. Otherwise, love it. yes, yes, THRUST!
    (Finally figured out how to post. I'm using safari instead of firefox, and that has made all the difference)

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  5. "Like actors on a thrust stage, we come to you intimately, ready for our work to be examined from every angle, hiding nothing. Open your eyes and we'll emerge from the wings; open your ears and we'll put forth. We have branded these pages with words that don't flinch from the spotlight. Become engulfed with the work of a new generation of writers. We are observers, and our writing is how we've chosen to participate in our social world."

    That is my edit of it. Personally, there is a lot of flowery phrasing that just needs to be pared down. When you cut out a lot of the extra stuff, there is a seriously good statement there. Brevity and power = good.

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  6. These are good edits. Thanks folks.

    Looking at last year's book, though, the whole "stage" metaphor was used in Leadlights as well. We cool with this?

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  7. shoot, really? i think we need to come up with something different than Leadlights. i liked anna's edited version lots, but i do think we should do something different. maybe we can talk about this on monday?

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